So, last night Ted and I were watching Battlestar Galactica on DVD, and I became infuriated by the character of Lee Adama. “He is a crappy leader!” I shouted. “If he were a project manager, his projects would fail!” From there I segued into a more extended rant about real-life political leaders who are promoted above their level of competency based on their family history, and how badly that tends to work out.
Ted was patient with me for a few minutes, before reminding me of our household rule of not discussing politics after 9 pm. It was not a good time for ranting about politics; it was time to head towards bed.
This morning, I’m still thinking of Lee Adama’s complete lack of leadership skills. I’ve known project managers like Lee– heck, I’ve been a project manager like Lee. Before I started figuring out what my role is as a project leader, I escalated the level of drama on the projects I was involved with. Eventually, I figured out that while stressing problems and creating conflicts may be appropriate for a team member, it is not appropriate for a team lead. A leader needs to make sure that serious issues are communicated to the appropriate people with a sense of urgency, absolutely. But most of the time, with the routine angst of daily life, a leader’s job is to de-escalate, to calm things down, to speak in a cool firm voice to the panicking developers and engineers and remind them, with tone as well as words, that we are perfectly capable of dealing with this, and it’s not that big a deal.
I find watching dog-training shows really useful in learning how to de-escalate work drama. Panicked, angry dogs have a great deal in common with panicked, angry software developers. I don’t mean this to be insulting– I think it’s pretty cool to be a mammal, and I like working with other mammals. We humans have a lot in common with other mammals when we’re scared. The limbic system takes over, higher-brain functioning shuts down, adrenaline floods our bodies, and we panic and spin out. Watching the Dog Whisperer– or Victoria Stillwell, my favorite trainer (she’s on It’s Me or the Dog)– is a great way to learn how to use body language, voice, and language to get folks calmed down to the point that they can think again.
As a PM, I see a major part of my role as helping my teams believe that they can succeed. IT projects are hard, IT projects are frustrating, IT projects are scary. It’s really crucial to have someone calm and cheerful reminding the team that we’ve dealt with worse, that we’ll get through this on too, and that really, it’s not a matter of life or death. At work, that’s my job.
At home, I’m allowed to freak out and create drama– but at work, I need to be the calm in the storm that can lead my team through to the other side. Ideally, I’ll also get us laughing along the way. It’s always fun to tell my team members that I’m not PMP certified, but I spend a lot of time watching dog training shows.
